I’m sat at Heathrow airport about to embark on my big worldwide trip (already delayed by 70 minutes due to the plane being slower than expected on the way in. Great confidence boost eh?). I don’t feel excited and I don’t feel nervous. Maybe the two just equally cancel themselves out?
To be honest I don’t think it’s sunk in yet. Only yesterday I was walking around Cambridge with my family, wearing two pairs of socks and 4 layers just to keep warm. Tomorrow I’ll be in 30C heat and be surrounded by people I’ve never met or spoken to before. That concept, even though I’ve done it before and had months to mentally prepare, just hasn’t sunk in for me yet (maybe on my 11 hour flight it will?).
What I do know is that this is was the right decision for me. That I needed this reset, to see the world and experience new things, but also just take a step back and look at my life. Yes there are so many things I’ll miss, my friends and my family, but strangely already in the short time, that is the bulk of it. The Apple Watch I once had, the iPad and various other bits of tech now just seem a distant memory of something that was “nice to have” but not much more than that. The job was paying the bills but equally not doing much more than that. Maybe this is what I needed?
I sit here and it’s dawned on me, maybe I didn’t savour my last hot shower enough today? Maybe I should have reclined on my parents’ sofa one last time. Then my biggest realisation, that last night was my last night I’m probably in a double bed for awhile with no noise, bedbugs or random hair, I should have savoured every minute of it, stretched my arms and legs and done the biggest bloody starfish ever.
So if you hear any news reports of a baby faced guy being kicked off a plane for attempting to star fish in seat G51 and annoying passengers, then that will be me. Trying to savour the past but knowing full well so much is about to change, and deep down I know I just can’t bloody wait…I just need to stop waiting at this sodding airport first!